Cartier Le Style et l’Histoire, an exhibition at the Grand Palais

A few months back, everyone’s favourite duchess of Cambridge wore a new-to-her tiara (very exciting), because her wedding tiara was on display (VERY EXCITING). Within the hour I’d discovered Cartier Le Style et l’Histoire, an exhibition at the Grand Palais in Paris, and booked the Eurostar (VERY VERY EXCITING and foolish and irresponsible and I need help).

Sweet baby George was it worth it. Firstly, THEY LET YOU TAKE PICTURES!  Secondly, TIARAS! Thirdly, ROTATING TIARAS!

A tiara carousel from heaven, including Princess Marie Bonaparte's wreath, the Essex tiara borrowed by Clementine, Lady Churchill for Queen Elizabeth II's coronation, and the bandeau that belonged to Queen Elisabeth of the Belgians

Heaven. And that was just the start! Feast your eyes on this lot.

MARIE AND THE MAHARAJAH! 

Queen Marie of Romania, granddaughter of both Queen Victoria and Tsar Alexander II, wearing a 478.68 carat sapphire, and the Maharajah of Patiala's ceremonial necklace showcasing the 234.69 carat 'De Beers' yellow diamond

Kindred spirits, these two. I like to imagine they met and talked about their respective fabulousness. Queen Marie’s sapphire makes the Heart of the Ocean look like a drop in the ocean. A sapphire of titanic proportions. Also wearing enough ice to sink a small ship is the Maharajah of Patiala, who quite literally rocked up in Paris with suitcases of loose stones for this ceremonial necklace. It looks a bit like a bib, but it’s a diamond bib, so well played MoP, well played.

SPARKLY ANIMALS!

Cartier classics, including Wallis Simpson's 152.35 carat Kashmir cabochon sapphire panther brooch and Mexican film star Maria Felix's snakes and crocodiles

THE QUEEN! 

Jonquil brooch set by Cartier in 1953, featuring a magnificent 23.6 carat pink diamond, a wedding gift from Dr John Williamson

This brooch, on loan from the Queen, is one of the biggest and best rocks on the block. A lovely thing, even if the setting kinda swamps this exceptionally rare pink diamond (WHO SAID THAT??! THOU SHALT NOT SPEAK ILL OF CARTIER).

GRACE AND CAROLINE!

Ruby and diamond clips, representing the colours of Monaco, worn by Princess Grace as a tiara. A diamond and pearl tiara, worn by Grace's daughter Princess Caroline

BONUS JEWELS!

Show-stopping sparkles, including Daisy Fellowes' Hindu necklace, an exquisite carved emerald, ruby and sapphire necklace in the 'tutti frutti' style, and Lady Deterding's diamond and Burmese ruby demi-parure

And the pièce de résistance...

WALLIS AND LIZ!

The flamingo brooch, sold in 2010 for over £1.7m and the Mike Todd ruby and diamond demi-parure

The woman might have caused a constitutional crisis, but she also commissioned a bejewelled flamingo. God bless you, Wallis. These ladies didn’t just patronise Cartier, they inspired Cartier. Pushing the boundaries of bling, they were the ultimate collaborators; the ultimate panthers (more to come on both and Jeanne Toussaint, legendary head of Cartier Fine Jewellery).

Criminy, even the ceiling was fabulous.

I don't know about you, but I need a lie down. Which jewel do you covet the most?

The exhibition closes next Sunday. Beg, borrow and steal your way to the Grand Palais.